Current societal prescriptions dictate that a high libido is the gold standard and the normality that we should be seeking to achieve. Given these pressures, most of us experience angst as to whether we truly measure up. In this post, I talk about sexual desire and look at what is really ‘normal’.

When it comes to sexuality, there is a profound distinction between animals and humans. Animals have sex because it is the procreative urge but only humans have an erotic life. In this post, I explore the meaning of eroticism and discuss why it is an essential ingredient to satisfying sex.

Many people view their sexual functioning as an operational problem that can be fixed. But while this problem-solving model may go some way in addressing people’s sexual issues, for many, it often fails to deliver the desired results. In this month's post, I talk about why sex does not operate under the same rules as fixing a machine.

Our cultural model of male sexuality assumes that men are always up for sex and anything short of that puts a question mark on a man's masculinity. The kind of pressure generated by this belief forms the basis for male performance anxiety, a common experience and the topic for this month's post.

In this month’s post, I introduce Esther Perel and her ideas about how love and sexual desire are related and why they potentially conflict. According to Perel, central to sustaining desire in a committed relationship is the reconciliation of two fundamental and conflicting human needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. 

Playtime is usually thought of as the domain of children. Yet being playful and having fun have been found to be also important components of having a healthy and happy life regardless of age. In this month's post, I explore the wealth of possibilities for different activities to be considered as play including opportunities for enhancing your sex life.

Why we choose a particular person on whom to bestow our love, is so extraordinarily complex that no-one completely understands it. There is usually little awareness of unconscious psychological processes determining our choice. 

Throughout history, people have sought potions and devices to obtain relief from sexual problems and to enhance sexual performance. But how far can today's medical solutions for sexual difficulties really go in fixing the problem?

The idea that good sex just happens naturally is a commonly held assumption. But most people are unaware of the difference between human sexuality and a reproductive model of sex.

Sexual problems stem partly from misinformation about basic physiology and a lack of clarity about how sex actually works. In a bid to provide a more accurate picture of sex, I want to start off with clearing up the confusion between sexual desire and sexual arousal.

A few months ago, I wrote about a common relationship pattern known as the pursuer-distancer cycle. In this month’s post, I focus on how the pursuer-distancer dance is played out in the bedroom as a result of desire discrepancy or differing sex drives and how to overcome its damaging effects.

In my last post, I introduced you to The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, patterns of communication so destructive to love, they are reliable predictors of a terminally unhappy relationship. If you and your partner cannot engage in conflict discussions without using these damaging behaviours consistently, it is time to learn safer and more effective ways to talk about your differences. Here's how...

Research has shown there are certain kinds of negative communication styles which are so destructive, they signal the end of the relationship. These behaviours known as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are so lethal, they corrode the love that is at the core of an intimate relationship.

A couple’s ability to have a loving and fulfilling relationship requires that they balance two primary human needs - togetherness and separateness. When a couple is not able to find a good balance between the two, they may wind up in the frustrating dynamic of the pursuer and the distancer – an extremely common pattern and major contributor to relationship breakdown.

For many people, the word ‘intimacy’ is synonymous with ‘sex’. But is sex, even great sex, the same as intimacy? In this month’s post, I look at what exactly emotional intimacy is and how couples can achieve it in their relationship.

When it comes to sex and relationships, definitely one of the most common concerns voiced by clients is whether they are having enough sex. In essence, what they really want to know is: "Am I normal?" We humans seem to have an obsession with what is normal.

What is sex, exactly? In other words, what "counts" as having sex? Human sexuality is incredibly diverse and people define "sex" in different ways.